.. what’s the right word?... disquieted by the way my body was changing. I used to get frightened that I would be unrecognisable to Joe and Mummy and Daddy if I was ever to see them again. They might walk past me in the street and they would not know me any more.”“Jenny, Jenny, I am sorry. I feel so very clumsy now. I must have stirred up all sorts of bad memories? Can you cope with being here? We don’t need to play with all this stuff.”“No, please, Charlotte. Look, don’t worry. Talking is important. The Police would just love me to be able to talk like this, but I don’t want to talk to them. Here, I am talking with people I trust. The funny thing is that when I was first here, I was so much the sub and now I am not really much of a sub at all.”“No?”“No. A sub is not putty. Well, you know that. A sub has to be brave enough to be frank about themselves and brave enough to put themselves in the hands of their lover. I was a sub because I wanted an adventure and it was easy to put myself. Hovering at the edge of my mind this fleeting thought, and then the choice is made and I surrender myself. As I slide down deeply into the void, the world softly slips away from me and my mind begins to spin. The feeling is akin to slipping down into a pool. But not any pool, in this pool, each drop is pure dreamy pleasure. I can feel the liquid tendrils curl through my mind, down my spine, and somehow making it almost impossible to stand. I am glad of your arms supporting me. A momentary though of whether you are affected the same way tickles at the edge of my mind, and then that too is gone. As we continue to kiss, I feel the pull of this pleasure more strongly with each passing moment. With each and every breath in and out, expanding and collapsing my world into a single thought, a single indefinable desire. Draining all thought and consciousness down to a single indefinable point. It is like a soft caress in my mind, or a whisper, to faint to hear. The pulling sensation builds.
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